Who
can be married at Westminster?
In
order to schedule a wedding at
Westminster
, one of the participants
must be a "member." For wedding purposes "members" are defined as:
-
those
currently on the church's active, inactive, or affiliate
membership rolls,
-
children,
grandchildren, or parents of active members,
-
staff
of the church and their children.
The
one exception for non-member weddings is when either the bride or the
groom is an active member of another
Dayton
area Presbyterian Church
that is too small for the anticipated wedding guests. In this
situation, the member's pastor should call the pastor of
Westminster
with the details of the
request.
The
Presbyterian Book of Order states that a pastor may decline to officiate at a
wedding where he/she "is convinced after discussion with the
couple that commitment, responsibility, maturity, or Christian
understanding are so lacking that the marriage is unwise."
Such a refusal is rare.
What
are the first steps?
All arrangements for weddings are
made through the pastor’s Executive Assistant.
This individual may be reached by phone (937-223-7285) during
normal church business hours (
8:30 – 5:00 pm
). The first step (before
commitments for receptions, etc.) is to reserve a date and time for
the wedding on the church calendar.
The next step is to call the
pastor’s Executive Assistant and request the booklet, Your
Wedding at
Westminster
.
There are instructions in the booklet as to how to proceed.
Does
the church require pre-marital counseling?
The
pastor who will be officiating at your service is required by the
Presbyterian Book of Order
to meet with both the bride and groom before the wedding. At that time
the pastor will discuss with you the wedding service, the rehearsal
and the nature of Christian marriage.
Normally,
the pastor will require at least two consultations. These sessions
provide an informal atmosphere in which to plan your wedding and to
give you support in this vital moment in your lives. Should either the
bride or groom be divorced, the pastor may want to discuss the
circumstances surrounding the divorce. Anything shared with your
pastor in these consultations will be held in the strictest
confidence. Our pastors also stand ready to assist you after your
wedding in any way possible. If
you desire premarital counseling beyond the two normal consultations,
please communicate that to the officiating pastor.
Who
can participate in the wedding service?
If
you desire the participation of an additional pastor, priest or rabbi to
assist at your wedding, this can be arranged. Assisting pastors
must be fully ordained clergy of a recognized Christian or Jewish
religious body or denomination. Visiting clergy should not
be invited to participate until you have discussed this matter with
the officiating pastor from
Westminster
, since the officiating
pastor is the only person who may extend the invitation.
It
is also possible for up to three lay readers to read scripture
passages and/or other literature approved by the officiating pastor.
This opportunity sometimes helps brides and grooms find a significant
purpose for people who are not asked to be attendants.
Ushers
are to be provided by the wedding party.
We recommend that there be one usher for every 50 guests at the
wedding, and that they be age 18 or older.
It is important that one usher knows the bride's family well,
and one knows the groom's family well. There are no gender
restrictions for ushers.
If
there are children participating in the service (ring bearers, and
flower girls, etc.) we strongly recommend that they be six years of age or older. In our
large sanctuary with its long aisle, it has been our experience that
younger children often suffer anxiety.
What
kind of music can we use?
Music
suitable for the marriage service directs attention to God
and expresses the faith of the
church. - Book
of Order, Presbyterian Church (
USA
)
(W-4.9005)
The
wedding service is a religious service of deep spiritual significance;
special care must be taken to choose music that is in character with
Christian worship in the reformed tradition: music that focuses on God
rather than on romantic love or sentimentality, music that enhances
joy, reverence and dignity, and possesses a level of integrity
consistent with
Westminster
's music ministry. Popular
favorites or songs of a sentimental character or secular connotation
are inappropriate for the wedding service and are more properly
reserved for the wedding reception.
The
Associate Pastor for Music will make final approval of all wedding
music. The Associate Pastor for Music or the Music Associate will play
at all weddings and rehearsals.
After
the wedding date has been confirmed with the church, and the couple
meets with the officiating pastor, a conference with the Associate
Pastor for Music must be arranged. Until this conference has been
held, guest soloists or other musicians should not be invited to participate in the wedding service, nor should
wedding music be selected. During your conference with the Associate
Pastor for Music, music from various periods and styles will be played
so as to provide the opportunity for you to choose music that will
have the most meaning for you. The Associate Pastor for Music can be
reached through the Church Office (937-223-7285) during his normal
business hours Tuesday - Friday or via Email.
If
vocal music is desired, soloists and vocal ensembles from the
Westminster Choir are available to sing for your wedding. There is an
additional fee for these individuals. Contact should be made through
the Associate Pastor for Music. Guest vocalists and instrumentalists
such as flutists, trumpeters, harpists, and violinists are welcome,
but as indicated above, arrangements should not be made until this has
been discussed with the Associate Pastor for Music.
The
singing of appropriate hymns by the assembled congregation is
encouraged as an expression of faith and is an effective way to
involve all those present in an active manner in this corporate
worship service. There
will be no special music played or sung during the seating of mothers
and grandparents.
Will
you print our wedding bulletin?
It
is not necessary for the congregation to have a bulletin in order to
fully participate in the service. However, if you desire to provide
bulletins, the officiating pastor can give you examples. Bulletins
will not be typed or printed by the church. A final draft should be
given to the officiating pastor and organist for proofreading before
you take it to the printer.
What
about the wedding rehearsal?
The
purpose of a rehearsal is to prepare for the actual service of
worship, to become familiar with the flow of the service, to practice
entering and exiting, and to learn appropriate responsibilities. The
rehearsal is vitally important because it sets the tone for all that
follows. There are many details to be covered at a rehearsal including
the specific training of ushers. Therefore, it is necessary that the
entire wedding party, including parents and readers, arrive promptly
and listen attentively.
The
rehearsal should normally be scheduled between
4:00 p.m.
and
7:00 p.m.
the day before the wedding.
The time selected should be one that everyone involved can comfortably
keep. The hardest part of rehearsals is getting all the participants
together in the Sanctuary on time! Once the entire wedding party is
assembled, the rehearsal should last no more than 45 minutes.
What
about the
Marriage License?
The
marriage license must be in the hands of the officiating pastor before
the wedding can be performed. Remember to bring it with you to the
rehearsal.
Can
the bridal party dress at the church?
A
room off Heritage Hall is available for the bride and her attendants
to dress prior to the service. It will be open two and one-half hours
before the wedding. The groom and groomsmen are accommodated in a
similar way in the West Parlor. These rooms are locked during the
service. After the service, they are to be cleared out promptly and
left in good order. Unfortunately, weddings are a favorite target for
thieves. Please watch valuables - cameras, purses, camcorders, etc. -
carefully while you are here at the church for the wedding and
rehearsal. Items left in the rooms are not the responsibility of the
church. If the bridal
party decides to not dress at the church, the bridal party and parents
must arrive at the church 45 minutes prior to the beginning of the
service.
Can
we throw rice or release balloons?
We
do not permit rice, birdseed, confetti, (etc.), to be thrown on church
property or for balloons to be launched.
Bubbles are permitted outside the church building and rose
petals may be scattered down the aisle.
Is
there parking available at the church?
Free
parking is available for 100 cars in the church’s lot which is
located on
First Street
across from the entrance of
the church. Other parking
facilities are available near the church.
Is
Westminster handicapped accessible?
Westminster
is handicapped accessible on
its southwest corner (
Perry St
.).
You may enter through the Chapel entrance and use an elevator
to the Sanctuary. Pews 21
and 22 in the Sanctuary accommodate wheelchairs.
Handicapped parking is also available outside the Chapel
entrance on
Perry Street
.
Does
the church have facilities suitable for a reception?
Yes.
Our Fellowship Hall and West Parlor are available at a surcharge for
wedding receptions. Fellowship
Hall holds approximately 250 people for a sit down dinner and the West
Parlor holds approximately 75 people for dinner.
Please keep in mind that the church is a smoke-free,
alcohol-free facility. Smokers will be asked to smoke no closer than
the sidewalk surrounding the church. Alcohol should not be included in
any pre-wedding parties on the day of the wedding or before a
rehearsal. The use of alcohol is prohibited on church property.
If the use of
alcohol or other drugs is
affecting the actions of any of the wedding party, the pastor may
refuse to perform the wedding service.
